Seriously, I feel I belong in some group somewhere admitting my dependency on the nectar of a liquid made from simply cooling and diluting boiled leaves with dissolved sugar.
This morning started like every other morning so far in my life ... I woke up. That was the only routine that I ever kept. Trying this new one is like trying new undergarments on only to find they've been rolled in insulation!
I swear that the battle is in my mind because I am eating decent portions of good tasting stuff ... but it's like I can never have enough. And thanks to the advice of my friend (we'll call her Grace, you know, to keep identities a secret) I am drinking enough water to spew out my ears!
My kids wanted eggs and bacon ... I wanted them to start joining my insanity ... do you understand the torture involved with tearing up that thick sliced real bacon we get for my daughter and not being able to lick my fingers ... but instead having to leave the table and go wash that golden, heavenly residue down the sink .. that is a waste of goodness and a crime ... I should turn myself in.
After I cooked their breakfast I began working on mine .. after thoroughly cleaning the cooking plate (I love cooking on those). I have no need for a conventional stove ... all I need is a hot plate and a grill!. This morning I made myself some egg whites with onions, peppers, bellas, and ... well ... goat cheese. A little salt and pepper and I felt like I was in a scene from an Israeli film ... it was very good though. It was very filling when I ate it .. but then about an hour later it was gone. I've said this before ... I'll say it again. I really believe there is something in bad cholesterol and or red meat specifically that keeps you feeling full much longer. I noticed that my energy levels were much higher too.
For lunch I made what I call Vodka Chicken. My marinade: some olive oil, some balsamic vinegar, about a cup of vodka, oregano, sweet basil, rosemary, garlic, salt, and pepper. I used some nice and large boneless chicken breasts I purchased this morning and let the chicken with the marinade set in a freezer bag for a while. Then I grilled it to where the chicken had kind of a rubbery feel when pressed ... that's when you know it's good, cooked, and real juicy. If it feels almost slippery in the tongues, it's still raw. If you can squeeze it but it doesn't bounce, you're cooking it too much ... it will be dry. If you're not sure, cut it open. Try to limit the number of times you flip it too... cause that dries the meat. I made a salad from spinach leaves with some cut up plums and cucumbers as well as some craisins and some cherry tomatoes. I make my own dressing usually from some olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and seasonings .. today I used the light greek vinaigrette in my fridge. I mixed one of the breasts ... sliced ... and some crumbled goat cheese and ... bang!
For all of you who freaked out when you saw vodka ... it is a great cooking substance for any kind of chicken or poultry ... just as whiskey is for meats ... and you can buy cooking alcohols in almost any grocery store. Just don't drink away your sorrows in it ... you will be unpleasantly surprised.
Note to the reader ... eating healthy takes a ton of preparation and at least that much work. Until now, my idea of salad was the seasoning on the steak ... or the garnish. But it was really good ... I only went blind like three times in hunger smelling the food as I was creating it.
By 2pm I was grazing. I bought some dried peas and stuff like that at the health part of the store .. if you lie enough to yourself, it tastes like pizza with lots of cheese! But they were very filling as so devoid of recognizable taste (besides sea salt) I became bored of eating ... I guess that was good.
For dinner I made some grilled fish, and a huge plate of peas ... no one else likes them. My kids also had some mac n cheese ... it looked marriable. But I just pretended my sweet peas were mac n cheese ... my motivation for that fanatical practice is the movie "Hook." But that tea ... I cannot get away from it ... and it's everywhere here. It's not that a shot of tea would be terrible ... but I committed to myself to drink only water and black coffee ... and I can accept no compromise ... so bear with me. If you are allowing yourself a shot of goodness in your diet, don't feel bad ... that is not this!
I have to tell you, I am looking forward to the scale on Saturday. Regardless of what it says, I do feel better inside. I am hoping that I can also lose about 40 lbs and that will take some of the pressure off of my injuries ... allowing me to really begin a good fitness plan. Let me remind you, I am not looking to return to the athletic stature of the young man I was before my injuries. My wife and I have long since come to the agreement that, for us, a good and appropriate level of health and fitness is that we can chase the kids around on their bikes and run and play with them without the need of oxygen or air lifts to the local hospitals. We never want to not eat something because it may alter our anorexic figures. That is not to say we don't want to be in good and fit shape ... we just don't want to be held hostage by it. Fitness is a lifestyle. If my lifestyle, as it is now, is where I cannot say no after 8oz of steak but instead take down 20+oz along with bacon fries and two baked potatoes stuffed with everything possible including a waitress ...accidentally... then I have some serious rethinking to do because, as it is now, I am held hostage by the food on my plate on the other spectrum: I have to cook it all ... then I have to eat it all. And if I eat it all, I have to find more...
That is what this is about. A revolutionary war against my own thought processes on the value of food and where it fits in my life. It can no longer be a god or a pacifier for boredom, but rather an essential tool for health and well being. That is my cause ... that is my stance!
Thank you for reading ... I hope this is helping someone ... well, it really is ... me!!!!!!
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