Day 1 (Saturday Jul 14)

Day One of my diet (yesterday was Day Zero) is down. It was an exhilerating accomplishment which included a buffet of diet offenses ... and felonies.


I began this morning at 5am.  I was supposed to be up at 4 am but didn't set my alarm right.  The plan was to take my niece and daughter out to breakfast at a restauraunt where I could order something like egg whites ... that would fit my diet.  Well Captain Genius set his alarm for 4am ... Monday.  Thank heavens my wife set her alarm just in case ... what can I say she knows me.  But since Amber (niece) had to be at the airport for 6 am, we were not going to have the time to stop ... so to McDonalds we went. 

Now I don't know about you, but do you find it interesting how things that typically don't bother you suddenly become life or death urges once you purposely try to avoid them?  I ordered my two girls a breakfast and denied myself any premade cholesterol in the form of food ... but did order my coffee (on the ok list).  However, when I pulled up to the window, the smell coming from the kitchen caused me to go into convulsions.  I also, out of pure reflex, ordered cream and sugar in my coffee ... which is supposed to be black... so I had to leave it there unattended ...more agony.

I returned home and immediately made myself some drinkable coffee and an eggwhite omlet with onions and peppers.  Tragically, I had to cook for the rest of my family before I cooked for me ... but I was strong ... it would not last.  I thought about licking the pan .. fortunately hot grease seems to be painful.

The egg white omlet was a distant memory 5 minutes after I ate it.  It seems that cholesterol must have some stomach filling characteristic ... because nothing I eat seems to hit bottom.


Lunch time came ... it caught me mowing my yard ... which is pretty sizable (corner lot) and was three weeks over grown (thanks rain!).  I went into a coma three times because of malnutrition.  I tried to give myself a cocacola injection, but the fridge seemed to have fangs or something.  I ate a can of tuna fish (in water) with a little basil and balsalmic vineger in it. The can also seemed to be edible though the dentist said I should not lose anymore teeth... this is going to be hard.  After scanning the refridgerator for anything I could eat, I decided not to eat the glass shelves because that would have made it difficult to finish mowing the yard.

I went to the store and bought some health "snacks" which I am pretty sure would be better suited being placed in a bird feeder .. or planted in the ground.

For dinner, I made a delicious marinara from tomatoes, baby portabellas, garlic, etc... no red meat.  I also grilled some chicken breasts marinated in water (just kidding ... but the marinade was in accordance to my plan).  I bought some whole grain rotini which I despise but was pleasantly pleased to find that if cooked long enough become very noodle-like.  The meal was delicious.   But by late evening, I was starving for steak.

I have never considered how much red meat and carb saturated foods I eat until today.  I literally feel that I am going through a drug withdrawel.  Seriously, I began to go into fits that night.  My wife and I got into the worst physical struggle I remember in our marriage, after three hours of physical torment, she was able to dislodge my arm from my esophogus.  The doctor said my fingers should heal completely ... the digestive process had not yet kicked in.  Looks like human flesh is now officially off of the list.

Pray for me!