So I had the thought that maybe I would get divine assistance today, being Sunday, considering what I do. Well... I am learning that obviously the Divine desires me to develop some sort of muscle from my will of jelly.
Yesterday ended this morning around 1am. Yuci and I were to minister in music this morning so I had to go set up all of our gear ... and since we hosted a family last night, it was after 10 before I could leave. I returned and decided I would get up at 6am so I could get my breakfast (egg whites ..) and lunch ready. We had to hold a staff meeting with our children's ministry staff and were feeding them lunch (Cane's). I went to allow myself to believe that accomodating this schedule would be reason to allow me to get off my plan for one day ... I mean, cmon! What's one day?!
But then I remembered I have only been doing this for one day ... and I made a promise that no matter what I was going to do this strictly for two weeks ... with the hopes to discover my ability to continue it for two more. Made a promise to who? Well ... to me, to my family, and to my readers ... to you. There may be only a handful reading this right now ... but I just lie to myself and convince myself that the galaxies are swinging in the balance here ... needing me to hold the line ... and so I must!
So 6am came and someone obviously stole it ... I am suspicious of my wife's motives to undermine my stand. The hungrier I get, the more aware I am of a world of conspiracy theories ... that no one seems to realize exist. Then I eat and for a moment, they are gone. Anyways, it seemed I had swallowed part of my pillow this morning ... that's how I felt. I went to go to the bathroom but was reminded ... this is a waste of time ... there is nothing in me! Due to the fact I was late, I did not get to make that "breakfast" (more like rubberized spit) and got to smell the eggs, biscuits, and grits the church provides for anyone who desires to come and eat. I thought my stomach would register on the Richter Scale. I was sure the congregation would hear it under amplification, but the base kick made it indeterminable.
During the music, I did at times hallucinate that some of the congregation were edible. I might or might not have had a 'vision' giving me permission to eat one ... at random. But I recognized it as not of God ... so I withheld myself. I am pretty sure that no one knew my distraction ... lots of musicians stop midservice and begin to stare and drool ... I just called for someone to pass an offering and all was good. (I am kidding here ... but I was hungry ... as I am starving now...the computer seems edible actually.)
After the service, I had to go pick up the 35 large and juicy fried strips of real chicken, a massive box of real crinkle cut french fries, 10 thick slices of Texas Toast, and 6 cups of coleslaw. Then I made a gallon of tea and lemonaide. None of this food or drink was on my ok list ... though nothing could stop me from eating the aluminum container or the paper plates. (The tuna fish can incident in a previous post motivated me to not eat anything not specifically planted in the ground).
I held the meeting, watching my staff eat the bounty of my provision ... and despised their existence at that moment inside. JOIN ME!!! I wanted to cry out... but I had no energy ... I was using it to not seem noticably distracted ... so I just layed there on the floor and drooled.
When we got home (3pm) ... my lack of food was causing multiple hallucinations. I thought that a spaceship brought me to a martian subteranean prison (no purple hats) and the aliens were infesting my house with their tyrannical methods. After I ate some eggplant cooked in the maranara sauce made yesterday with some grilled chicken, I recognized the aliens as my wife and kids ... and the prison was my home.
I do have to say that I have always despised eggplant ... but I rather liked today's meal. So maybe good may come out of this after all ... my hunger is driving me close to insanity. I have not eaten anything else today ... not hungry ... it's a strange feeling.
When I put my kids to bed, I apologized for trying to eat them .. they were ok with it. I hope there is no permanent mental damage.
Right now, as I blog, the TV is on and my wife and I are watching LnO ... why is it that I feel that every time the TV is on I should be eating? That is something that I will have to try to fix in all of this. But seriously, I am not hungry. This is new.
So ... two down, 12 to go. Heaven help me!
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